hello my gorgeous piczoers!
in the last post i was so fussed about the whole situation with ryan i couldn't tell you the rest that i was meant to say about.. well for starters i've had extensions micro beaded in for good, for the teen queen finals:) and here's a picture, that's what i look like now.. whatchyaa all think?
+ I had my ear pierced on the side of the middle, don't know what it's called.. i love it! hurts like a bitch though.. here's a picture.. :)
Right, so that's over and done with, now I need to tell you what's happened today. because it left me shaking in tears and pissed off like mad.
Basically, you know the whole story of me and Ryan yeah? Well after all that time, his begging and sweet talk I said I'd give him a second chance when im back from holiday.. which is in like 6 days. And he's been talking to me until today.. Well.. this morning I found out he goes out with Becky. Yes, the Becky he cheated on me with. i went mad at him, the bullshitting cunt.. and he was like ''im sorry, becky was with me the whole time when you were on holiday and it was harder for me to wait for you.. i couldn't help myself.'' it was harder for him to WAIT for me?! He couldn't help himself?! He's SORRY?! if he loved me as much as he said he would wait that extra 6 days, it wouldnt hurt.. if he really loved me, he wouldn't even notice becky.. is he really that desperate?! and he's been saying all this shit about her to me, like she's discustingly ugly and he would never get back with her.. bet he's saying that about me to her now, eh? then he told me to talk to him when i calm down, just because i told him to fuck off. he said we'll sort things out then. but there is nothing to sort out, is there?! He's with Becky. He lied to me about everything. He's a two faced prick. And it's too late now. And it will be too late, when I come back and he suddenly decided to run back to me. Too late..
Eurgh.
I'm sorry about all the moaning later piczoers.. i had to write it somewhere and just get it out of me!
P.S. I have so much hate for the both of them right now.
- Veee.xox
Basically, you know the whole story of me and Ryan yeah? Well after all that time, his begging and sweet talk I said I'd give him a second chance when im back from holiday.. which is in like 6 days. And he's been talking to me until today.. Well.. this morning I found out he goes out with Becky. Yes, the Becky he cheated on me with. i went mad at him, the bullshitting cunt.. and he was like ''im sorry, becky was with me the whole time when you were on holiday and it was harder for me to wait for you.. i couldn't help myself.'' it was harder for him to WAIT for me?! He couldn't help himself?! He's SORRY?! if he loved me as much as he said he would wait that extra 6 days, it wouldnt hurt.. if he really loved me, he wouldn't even notice becky.. is he really that desperate?! and he's been saying all this shit about her to me, like she's discustingly ugly and he would never get back with her.. bet he's saying that about me to her now, eh? then he told me to talk to him when i calm down, just because i told him to fuck off. he said we'll sort things out then. but there is nothing to sort out, is there?! He's with Becky. He lied to me about everything. He's a two faced prick. And it's too late now. And it will be too late, when I come back and he suddenly decided to run back to me. Too late..
Eurgh.
I'm sorry about all the moaning later piczoers.. i had to write it somewhere and just get it out of me!
P.S. I have so much hate for the both of them right now.
- Veee.xox
(sorry about the really shit quality photos, none of them were taken with my lurrrvlyyy camera:(.. couldnt really bring it with me to the beach:( sorrrry!)
sometimes i wonder why we bother with love if it never lasts..
so the truth is, everything that's good has to end at some point. and love doesn't last. unless you're one lucky fucker who finds their prince charming.. which is like one in a million. well my relationship with Ryan seemed ''perfect'' but i'm just not one of them lucky loved up people, and things had to fuck up eventually didn't they. i don't know if it's me anymore, or just my luck.. or if i just can't find the right person, but somehow nothing ever lasts for me. Ryan turned into a bullshitting two faced jerk who lied to me about everything. Who ''joked'' about cheating on me and always said he didn't care about me. He thought that once he had me for a month he could start treating me like shit and have fun with it, and i would stay.. corrrrrection. I was putting up with it all because i loved him, but at one point he just went a tad TOO far. I was at Bridge Back with the best friends, (for anyone who doesn't know it's a music festival that lasts all weekend), we got drunk obviously, and my oh so lovely boyfriend didn't speak to me until 3am Saturday night when I was out of it. The first text i got off his phone was ''hey it's becky, your boyfriend just got on me and cheated on you, LOL.'' considering I was drunk i didn't take it very well, I was on the floor crying and shouting ''he cheated!'' when my friend found the text and decided to pick me up off the floor, hug me and give me another beer to calm down. I left my phone in the tent as they took me over to the stage so I would forget and stop crying.. By the time we came back I had 10 missed calls of Ryan. Then he rang me and started saying it was a ''joke'' but yet I could hear Becky in the background and he admitted to being with her. A joke? I'm sorry but what kind of boyfriend JOKES about that? Well that's not it yet. I got home and he told me he didn't love me, never did and never will. Then he got his ''best mate'' who happened to be a girl he never actually met to mail me telling me I treated Ryan like shit and he could do so much better than me. The next day he acted like nothing happened and still asked to come round my house.. But I put all his stuff that he left at mine in a bag, threw it outside my door and told him it was over and i didn't wanna see him. If he can do better than me, he can jog on and do that then..About a week later I started getting mails and texts off him saying he was sorrry for everything, he made a huge mistake and only realized he loved me when I left him. He said he loved me more than anyone in the world, he knows it's too late but he wants me to know.. and then he begged me for another chance and said he'll never get better.
Funny that he apparently didn't love me when we were together, but as soon as I left him he loved me more than anyone, eh?
I guess they said you never realize what you have until it's gone..
At that time I ''thought'' about giving him a second chance, but then about a week later I had mails off him saying he's at his house with Becky. Why tell me that?
At the moment I miss him but I don't think I'm gonna get back with him, it's really hard to trust again and forgive him for absolutely everything.. Everyone deserves a second chance, but I just don't know if he's worth it. And I doubt he'll ever change the way he is, or the way he treats me.. LIFE GOES ON.
Apart from that I've met a few guys, I heard the ''I love you so much please get with me baby!'' line a few times, but they're all the same and they say it to every girl I guess.. I just can't trust lads anymore. They have to really prove something to me before I even consider getting to know them.. I really wanna fall utterly and hopelessly in love. But with the right person. Pretty sad eh?
Oh and apart from all that, yesterday I've had one of the WORST day in my life if i'm honest.. I was casually out shopping and out of nowhere I passed out and woke up in an ambulance with shit attached to my body. I spent the day at the hospital, had loads of test done, they wanted me staying over night and they said i shouldn't even be alive right now cos my results were that bad.. but I wouldn't stay and I went home. I keep feeling sick and lightheaded now and then but I guess I'm okay, and I'll be okay.
Just feel really bad about worrying people so much and having them to look after me.. Maybe one day I'll be able to pay them back.
- Vee.ox
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so the truth is, everything that's good has to end at some point. and love doesn't last. unless you're one lucky fucker who finds their prince charming.. which is like one in a million. well my relationship with Ryan seemed ''perfect'' but i'm just not one of them lucky loved up people, and things had to fuck up eventually didn't they. i don't know if it's me anymore, or just my luck.. or if i just can't find the right person, but somehow nothing ever lasts for me. Ryan turned into a bullshitting two faced jerk who lied to me about everything. Who ''joked'' about cheating on me and always said he didn't care about me. He thought that once he had me for a month he could start treating me like shit and have fun with it, and i would stay.. corrrrrection. I was putting up with it all because i loved him, but at one point he just went a tad TOO far. I was at Bridge Back with the best friends, (for anyone who doesn't know it's a music festival that lasts all weekend), we got drunk obviously, and my oh so lovely boyfriend didn't speak to me until 3am Saturday night when I was out of it. The first text i got off his phone was ''hey it's becky, your boyfriend just got on me and cheated on you, LOL.'' considering I was drunk i didn't take it very well, I was on the floor crying and shouting ''he cheated!'' when my friend found the text and decided to pick me up off the floor, hug me and give me another beer to calm down. I left my phone in the tent as they took me over to the stage so I would forget and stop crying.. By the time we came back I had 10 missed calls of Ryan. Then he rang me and started saying it was a ''joke'' but yet I could hear Becky in the background and he admitted to being with her. A joke? I'm sorry but what kind of boyfriend JOKES about that? Well that's not it yet. I got home and he told me he didn't love me, never did and never will. Then he got his ''best mate'' who happened to be a girl he never actually met to mail me telling me I treated Ryan like shit and he could do so much better than me. The next day he acted like nothing happened and still asked to come round my house.. But I put all his stuff that he left at mine in a bag, threw it outside my door and told him it was over and i didn't wanna see him. If he can do better than me, he can jog on and do that then..About a week later I started getting mails and texts off him saying he was sorrry for everything, he made a huge mistake and only realized he loved me when I left him. He said he loved me more than anyone in the world, he knows it's too late but he wants me to know.. and then he begged me for another chance and said he'll never get better.
Funny that he apparently didn't love me when we were together, but as soon as I left him he loved me more than anyone, eh?
I guess they said you never realize what you have until it's gone..
At that time I ''thought'' about giving him a second chance, but then about a week later I had mails off him saying he's at his house with Becky. Why tell me that?
At the moment I miss him but I don't think I'm gonna get back with him, it's really hard to trust again and forgive him for absolutely everything.. Everyone deserves a second chance, but I just don't know if he's worth it. And I doubt he'll ever change the way he is, or the way he treats me.. LIFE GOES ON.
Apart from that I've met a few guys, I heard the ''I love you so much please get with me baby!'' line a few times, but they're all the same and they say it to every girl I guess.. I just can't trust lads anymore. They have to really prove something to me before I even consider getting to know them.. I really wanna fall utterly and hopelessly in love. But with the right person. Pretty sad eh?
Oh and apart from all that, yesterday I've had one of the WORST day in my life if i'm honest.. I was casually out shopping and out of nowhere I passed out and woke up in an ambulance with shit attached to my body. I spent the day at the hospital, had loads of test done, they wanted me staying over night and they said i shouldn't even be alive right now cos my results were that bad.. but I wouldn't stay and I went home. I keep feeling sick and lightheaded now and then but I guess I'm okay, and I'll be okay.
Just feel really bad about worrying people so much and having them to look after me.. Maybe one day I'll be able to pay them back.
- Vee.ox
i love my kitten so effing much.
just as much as i love lily allen. seriously.. listen to her songs, she's a hero. (L).
As much as I hate sundays I think today is quite a special day, in so many ways.
Dear you,
I remember the first time you started talking to me on facebook. You popped up on facebook and said hello, you were nothing special at the time. You tried to make a conversation and came out with the most randomest things, started telling me about your mum and how you annoyed her. I took no notice of you, you were noone. I remember when I saw you in person for the first time. I never really noticed you at school.. I was doing a photoshoot for your sister, I didn't even know you two were related. I remember walking past your house with her when we finished taking photos. I saw you playing football in your Aston Villa shirt you love so much. You starred at me and I smiled as I walked past. I remember saying to my friend ''Hey, isn't that Ryan, the one that always talks to me on facebook?'', and then your sister pointed at you and said ''That's my brother.'' But you were a complete stranger to me. I remember the camp out, the night I met you properly and the night that changed everything.. I saw you walk out the back door and I started acting really loud and smiley, trying to make a good impression. Stupid, i know, i didn't even know why I was doing it. Then I remember when I came up to you and said ''Ryan, cos you love me.. can I have a can of yours?'' asking a complete stranger for a can of beer. good one vee! But that was the first time I ever spoke to you in person. And my heart was kinda thumping. I don't know if that was because it's scary talking to someone for the first time, or for some other reason. No idea.
Then I remember everyone taking pictures with my camera, and cos I was sat next to you I said 'Oi, i want a picture with Ryan!' and just casually sat on your lap and had a picture with you. Why? I don't know. It was just one of them things. In all fairness, I don't know what happened to that picture.. it wasn't on my camera after the camp out. Someone must have deleted it. shit happens. Then after a few cans me and you were hugging and talking. And it kinda went from there, i guess. It's funny how at one point you were a complete stranger to me, and now you're my absolute everything. In that 1 month we have got so close, you're almost like a best friend. We're both so comfortable with each other, it's weird that we haven't even known each other for that long.. I love every little thing you do. The way you smile at me, the way you hold my hand, the way you kiss me and the way i can feel your lips on mine when you whisper ''i love you.'' I love that little face you pull when I'm feeling down.. there's noone in the world who could replace you. I love your laugh, your voice, your stupidest face, your lame jokes, your sarcastic comments, how immature you are and how the dumbest of things amuse you so much. I love it when you reassure me that i'm the only one and that you love me. I guess i need someone like you in my life. Someone who can hold me in his arms and make me feel so safe.. Like the whole world could end right now and I wouldn't feel the pain. I like the way i'm falling hopelessly in love with you.. and noone can change this.
It's exactly 1 month today baby, and my love keeps growing stronger for you everyday. <3
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just as much as i love lily allen. seriously.. listen to her songs, she's a hero. (L).
As much as I hate sundays I think today is quite a special day, in so many ways.
Dear you,
I remember the first time you started talking to me on facebook. You popped up on facebook and said hello, you were nothing special at the time. You tried to make a conversation and came out with the most randomest things, started telling me about your mum and how you annoyed her. I took no notice of you, you were noone. I remember when I saw you in person for the first time. I never really noticed you at school.. I was doing a photoshoot for your sister, I didn't even know you two were related. I remember walking past your house with her when we finished taking photos. I saw you playing football in your Aston Villa shirt you love so much. You starred at me and I smiled as I walked past. I remember saying to my friend ''Hey, isn't that Ryan, the one that always talks to me on facebook?'', and then your sister pointed at you and said ''That's my brother.'' But you were a complete stranger to me. I remember the camp out, the night I met you properly and the night that changed everything.. I saw you walk out the back door and I started acting really loud and smiley, trying to make a good impression. Stupid, i know, i didn't even know why I was doing it. Then I remember when I came up to you and said ''Ryan, cos you love me.. can I have a can of yours?'' asking a complete stranger for a can of beer. good one vee! But that was the first time I ever spoke to you in person. And my heart was kinda thumping. I don't know if that was because it's scary talking to someone for the first time, or for some other reason. No idea.
Then I remember everyone taking pictures with my camera, and cos I was sat next to you I said 'Oi, i want a picture with Ryan!' and just casually sat on your lap and had a picture with you. Why? I don't know. It was just one of them things. In all fairness, I don't know what happened to that picture.. it wasn't on my camera after the camp out. Someone must have deleted it. shit happens. Then after a few cans me and you were hugging and talking. And it kinda went from there, i guess. It's funny how at one point you were a complete stranger to me, and now you're my absolute everything. In that 1 month we have got so close, you're almost like a best friend. We're both so comfortable with each other, it's weird that we haven't even known each other for that long.. I love every little thing you do. The way you smile at me, the way you hold my hand, the way you kiss me and the way i can feel your lips on mine when you whisper ''i love you.'' I love that little face you pull when I'm feeling down.. there's noone in the world who could replace you. I love your laugh, your voice, your stupidest face, your lame jokes, your sarcastic comments, how immature you are and how the dumbest of things amuse you so much. I love it when you reassure me that i'm the only one and that you love me. I guess i need someone like you in my life. Someone who can hold me in his arms and make me feel so safe.. Like the whole world could end right now and I wouldn't feel the pain. I like the way i'm falling hopelessly in love with you.. and noone can change this.
It's exactly 1 month today baby, and my love keeps growing stronger for you everyday. <3
Photos from today's photoshoot with Bryony(the blond one), Ellie(the one with curly hair), Lyd(the one with dark blonde hair) and Alice(the one with dark brown, short hair).(:
Fair play, the weather's getting quite lovely and sunny around here. It better stay like this for the next weekend, as I'm very excited for it and the weather can NOT fuck it up. Bridge Bash with Jade and Beanie.. Yeaaaas fucking woo.
So anyway, I wanted to post about something that's been happening lately. What's been happening? My boyfriend Ryan and the person I hate the most- Annie.. have been happening.
I'm sure i've blogged about her before, but since then, i've just took a bigger DISLIKE to her.
Well.. it started off with her mailing Ryan and telling him that me and her were 'best friends' and i fucked it all up and she's really upset about it. She started making out that I was the one in the wrong, even though this was nothing to do with Ryan. Then she gave him her number and asked him to text her.. I saw this when he was with me and got a tad moody about it. I mean, who wouldn't? When your worst enemy's trying to get on your boyfriend to piss you off, and he's going along with it? ..He realized, so he didn't text her.. Instead, he gave her his number so she could text him. Then she started texting him when I was with him and he just casually ditched me to talk to her. I stormed off downstairs and sat in my kitchen nearly crying for about 20 minutes. It wasn't the fact he was texting another girl.. because i really don't mind that, i know he has girl mates. It's just the fact that me and her hate each other so much, and she always does this to fuck things up for me.. she did it with James. But that time she mailed him a huge paragraph saying how upset she was that me and him are together cos he's the 'love of her life.' paahaa, bullshit. i'm sorry, but she was snogging 20 other lads and going out with some kid called Fraser, while she was at it. You really can't take someone who does that, seriously, when it comes to love..
Do you ever get so angry that you just want to cry? Yeah, that's exactly how I felt. I could just see her ruining everything for me, and I knew she was only doing it to piss me off and get me down.. because seeing me upset makes her happy. yeah, no matter how harsh that sounds. it's true.
It took Ryan 20 minutes to come downstairs and see what was wrong. We argued.
He made out that I didn't trust him.. and I explained everything. He said he'll stop talking to her if it bothers me that much. I told him I won't stop him from texting or talking to her because it's his life. I thought that if he loved me he'd know the right thing to do.. We made up, things were perfect. We spent the next 3 nights together and now he's back at his dad's, and I'll probably see him Monday. I'm not sure if he still talks to Annie.. I try to convince myself he's not. But i've come to a conclusion.. that i shouldn't let some bitch like her get me down. And things have changed a bit.. Ryan told me I didn't need to worry about anything because I was the only one he loved and wanted to be with. He said a couple of sweet things.. and now i just don't worry about things anymore. I'm with him and we're both happy. Fuck the haters, fuck the people that try to ruin everything.. I won't let them.
It's one month tomorrow.. And i'm still in love(L).
Noone can take this away from me.
- Veee,xox
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Fair play, the weather's getting quite lovely and sunny around here. It better stay like this for the next weekend, as I'm very excited for it and the weather can NOT fuck it up. Bridge Bash with Jade and Beanie.. Yeaaaas fucking woo.
So anyway, I wanted to post about something that's been happening lately. What's been happening? My boyfriend Ryan and the person I hate the most- Annie.. have been happening.
I'm sure i've blogged about her before, but since then, i've just took a bigger DISLIKE to her.
Well.. it started off with her mailing Ryan and telling him that me and her were 'best friends' and i fucked it all up and she's really upset about it. She started making out that I was the one in the wrong, even though this was nothing to do with Ryan. Then she gave him her number and asked him to text her.. I saw this when he was with me and got a tad moody about it. I mean, who wouldn't? When your worst enemy's trying to get on your boyfriend to piss you off, and he's going along with it? ..He realized, so he didn't text her.. Instead, he gave her his number so she could text him. Then she started texting him when I was with him and he just casually ditched me to talk to her. I stormed off downstairs and sat in my kitchen nearly crying for about 20 minutes. It wasn't the fact he was texting another girl.. because i really don't mind that, i know he has girl mates. It's just the fact that me and her hate each other so much, and she always does this to fuck things up for me.. she did it with James. But that time she mailed him a huge paragraph saying how upset she was that me and him are together cos he's the 'love of her life.' paahaa, bullshit. i'm sorry, but she was snogging 20 other lads and going out with some kid called Fraser, while she was at it. You really can't take someone who does that, seriously, when it comes to love..
Do you ever get so angry that you just want to cry? Yeah, that's exactly how I felt. I could just see her ruining everything for me, and I knew she was only doing it to piss me off and get me down.. because seeing me upset makes her happy. yeah, no matter how harsh that sounds. it's true.
It took Ryan 20 minutes to come downstairs and see what was wrong. We argued.
He made out that I didn't trust him.. and I explained everything. He said he'll stop talking to her if it bothers me that much. I told him I won't stop him from texting or talking to her because it's his life. I thought that if he loved me he'd know the right thing to do.. We made up, things were perfect. We spent the next 3 nights together and now he's back at his dad's, and I'll probably see him Monday. I'm not sure if he still talks to Annie.. I try to convince myself he's not. But i've come to a conclusion.. that i shouldn't let some bitch like her get me down. And things have changed a bit.. Ryan told me I didn't need to worry about anything because I was the only one he loved and wanted to be with. He said a couple of sweet things.. and now i just don't worry about things anymore. I'm with him and we're both happy. Fuck the haters, fuck the people that try to ruin everything.. I won't let them.
It's one month tomorrow.. And i'm still in love(L).
Noone can take this away from me.
- Veee,xox
guess what? I have good news!:D
1. I finally got my lovely telephoto lens i've wanted for so long and i'm already in love with it!
2. I GOT THROUGH TO THE FINALS OF TEEN QUEEN UK!
woooooooo:D! Thank you everyone that voted:)! +I am really not keen on these pictures, but I have nothing better to upload at the moment! If the weather stays as lovely as it is today, I might have some pictures from going to the beach next sunday.
I've had a lovely day.. went for a 2 hour jog this morning, been to the river with the boyfriend and then spent the rest of the day with him<3. And apart from some little sket being a jealous little biatch and attempting to make my life hell and actually get to me.. it was all good.
Life's just getting so much better, and i'm absolutely buzzing. On the 15th to 17th of June, me, Jade and Lyd are going to bridge bash, it's a music and beer festival. Then on the wednesday after we're going to Drayton Manor. Then the next day school's out for the summer! Hopefully my sister will stay over for a week and then on the 27th i'm going on holiday with her. Then when we come back, I'm off to London for the teen queen uk live finals which are on the 2nd of September. Buzzzzzin' like a beee!
I'm sorry about a shitty post, but trust me.. I have nothing better to blog about right now.
'' It's a beautiful day. now watch some bitch screw it up..''
- Love you all,
Vee, xox
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1. I finally got my lovely telephoto lens i've wanted for so long and i'm already in love with it!
2. I GOT THROUGH TO THE FINALS OF TEEN QUEEN UK!
woooooooo:D! Thank you everyone that voted:)! +I am really not keen on these pictures, but I have nothing better to upload at the moment! If the weather stays as lovely as it is today, I might have some pictures from going to the beach next sunday.
I've had a lovely day.. went for a 2 hour jog this morning, been to the river with the boyfriend and then spent the rest of the day with him<3. And apart from some little sket being a jealous little biatch and attempting to make my life hell and actually get to me.. it was all good.
Life's just getting so much better, and i'm absolutely buzzing. On the 15th to 17th of June, me, Jade and Lyd are going to bridge bash, it's a music and beer festival. Then on the wednesday after we're going to Drayton Manor. Then the next day school's out for the summer! Hopefully my sister will stay over for a week and then on the 27th i'm going on holiday with her. Then when we come back, I'm off to London for the teen queen uk live finals which are on the 2nd of September. Buzzzzzin' like a beee!
I'm sorry about a shitty post, but trust me.. I have nothing better to blog about right now.
'' It's a beautiful day. now watch some bitch screw it up..''
- Love you all,
Vee, xox
